


If I Die Young

by princey_pie



Series: The Sides Of A Song [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Crying, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 14:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princey_pie/pseuds/princey_pie
Summary: Song: If I Die Young by The Band Perry (but I mostly listen to the Sam Tsui cover tbh)





	If I Die Young

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is sad angst. Blame the cover version but I cried while writing it which I never do)  
> Also this is shorter than I liked it to be but well...

The church bells rang. The sound set heavy over the crowd in front of the entrance. Patton wished it could drown out the little whispers around him, the shuffling of black clothes, his own thoughts even. A squeeze on his hand jerked him back to reality and he lifted his gaze, feeling as his head weighed a ton, to meet Logan's eyes. The pain he saw there mirrored his own and once again Patton swallowed down the tears before they could close up his throat.

"Logan, I can't do this," he whispered.

Patton doubted that something ever scared him like this before or probably ever will again. Once he entered the church, there would be no going back, it would become real, he could no longer lie to himself that it would be okay. Because it wasn't okay, being alive never been more agonizing. So what if he was a coward who wanted to save his heart this last little rest of pain. They have been through so much since the last days.

"I know, love," came the response from his beloved husband, even if it was hard to feel anything beyond agony now, "but we have to."

He squeezed his hand again, both desperately trying to draw comfort from each other. There was none. Patton could still feel the coldness seeping through his bones.

"It's our last chance to-" Logan's voice broke.

'To say goodbye,' Patton thought. He was almost grateful that Logan couldn't say it, as if not speaking of it would change anything.  
The bells stopped and the gate opened. Patton gulped and let himself be pulled through the entrance by Logan. The walk to the altar felt surreal, the walls seemed to flicker and the ground kept moving, making him stumble forward, the only direction he really didn't want to go. Logan beside him was the only thing that kept him from turning and running away as far as he could.

Virgil was there, dressed in the white suit Logan and him had got him for the school's graduation ball, a single purple rose tucked against his chest. The matching suits had been Roman's idea and they would have surely looked adorable together. There was no way knowing now. If Patton would turn his head he would see the boy sitting there in the first row, dressed in the same white suit and a red rose, silently crying. He didn't turn his head.

'That wasn't how this was supposed to go,' Patton's thought echoed through his head. 'This shouldn't be how Virgil-'  
He couldn't finished the thought, not even now. In a few years he was supposed to be standing here at the altar while the person he loved more than anything else would be making his way to him through the rows. They would laugh and kiss and then celebrate their happiness with their family and friends. He shouldn't be laying here on satin, stiff and still and far too young. Patton wasn't supposed to lose his son so soon. They had so little time together.

The little silver ring with the peridot blinked in the pale daylight that streamed through the big glass windows. The ring was the first gift they ever gave to Virgil, just after they adopted him 4 years ago. Green for hope and joy, both things they wanted to give him as they welcomed him in their family. He made them a family. How were they supposed to live without their son? 

Patton couldn't bear the thought a second longer. It was driving him insane. He didn't know what to do. It felt like something with claws was trying to claw his way out of his chest. He fell to his knees and was barely aware that he was sobbing and letting out inhuman screams. He didn't care for the other people in the room, the hand on his shoulder that tried to calm him down. He wanted to scream and cry until he could no more. He wanted the world to go away that decided so cruelly to take away his wonderful son, to just rip him out of his life and leave him with a heart torn by grief. He would give everything to get him back but it was too late. Virgil was gone.


End file.
